Pathétique

by Bad Head

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06:32

about

Part 1: Proper Etiquette For Running Away From Home
Tracks 1-5

Part 2: How To Be Witty At Parties
Tracks 6-10

Part 3: I’m Exactly As Terrible As I Was When You Almost Dated Me
Tracks 11-14


All eyes on me
No eyes on me
I am creaking on the floorboards, I am about to crash right through the floor and ruin everything for everyone and everyone can tell, they’re all staring
No one is staring no one is watching I could leave for weeks without anyone noticing and I couldn’t make a sound no matter how hard I tried
My sister talked over me about nothing, she went on and on, it not only did some real psychological damage but it was always so boring
There’s a whole world outside your head
Nobody needs me
Everyone hates me
Some people like me
But nobody needs me
Whether I’m here or not doesn’t make a difference
No one makes a difference
But I’m me so I feel it most
I guess everyone feels like this
I guess I’m no different from anyone else
I guess I just lie on the floor crying for attention
I guess I like feeling sorry for myself
Therapy is story time
Time to talk about me
I relish it
My parents are paying someone to hear me talk about myself
I can hone all my stories
I can perfect myself
Advertisements bother me
It’s both the principle and that they’re rarely clever
I guess if you’re clever you wouldn’t spend your life writing advertisements
I was supposed to love 2001: A Space Odyssey and Apocalypse Now but the ending just went on and on and it didn’t make any sense
It didn’t make any sense
I can tell when things make sense
But they didn’t make any sense
I was gonna have a really nice yard
I was going to own a whole arrangement of assorted high quality neckties
For every possible occasion
I was real good at math and arguing
But I’m no good at talking or doing what I’m told
And I am a disappointment to everyone who had hope for me
And I am the fulfillment of the prophecy of everyone who hoped against me
I didn’t treat her well
I didn’t treat her nice
When she finally left I couldn’t stop crying
I thought it was proof that I loved her but I realize that I was crying for myself
No one ever taught me how to think about people
I always knew how to treat people but I was rotten at thinking of them
No one told me when to kiss her
So I didn’t
I just didn’t
And I can’t stand when something is repeated to me
But I guess I have to learn to acknowledge that I heard it the first time
There’s a whole world outside my head
I like girls named Jennifer that agree to a date and then never follow through
I am predictable and forgettable and your neck is wonderful
Check under the table no one is kicking my shin I am perfectly still
I can spend impressive amounts of time perfectly still
I can seem attractive at certain angles under certain lighting
at certain hours
I can antagonize and apologize
I can be unsettling when I raise my voice
I want a love like the movies
I hope I have it in me
I want a love like the movies
I feel less and less every day
When she finally left I cried like a child whose toy was taken away
Let it drip
“She’s three months old but she looks like she could be eight months old”
You can’t imagine how I hate this

credits

released April 30, 2016

All words and music written and composed by Kevin Hassett, except where noted.
All guitar, vocals, violin, piano, and banjitar written and performed by Kevin Hassett, except where noted.
All drums and percussion written and performed by Anthony Hamilton except where noted.
All bass and synth written and performed by Dylan Radigan except where noted.
All cello performed by Felicya Schwarzman and written by Felicya Schwarzman, Kevin Hassett, and Dylan Radigan.
Cover art photograph taken by Mackenzie Clark. Text and editing of cover art photograph by Anthony Hamilton and Kevin Hassett.
Recorded by Dylan Radigan. Mixed by Kevin Hassett.

*Drums for tracks 2-4 written and performed by Erikos Vlesmas.
*Track 3 has modified excerpts of songs originally composed by Paul Simon, Stephen Stills, and Jack Lawrence.
*Track 4 originally composed by Leonard Cohen.
*Vocals for track 6 performed by Olivia Gordon.
*Track 9 written and composed by Anthony Hamilton. Vocals performed by Anthony Hamilton. Guitar performed by Dylan Radigan. Banjitar written and performed by Dylan Radigan.
*Outro bass for track 10 written by Kevin Hassett. Spoken intro written and performed by Bill O'Reilly. Spoken excerpts of 'Howl' by Allen Ginsberg performed by Anthony Hamilton. Intro drums by Garageband.
*Track 11 spoken intro inadvertently performed by Hazal Göksu. Lead guitar written and performed by Dylan Radigan.
*Track 14 spoken pronunciation of "Pathétique" by Emma Saying.

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Bad Head

A longing, a loneliness, you know, whatever. You got it too.

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Track Name: Mr. Happy
1st Movement:
Hassett’s Symphony No.1 in G-Sharp Major, "Mr. Happy": I. Sonata, 'Proper Etiquette For Running Away From Home'

Psychic says it’s mom’s voice in my head that makes me feel this way

Dad says he won't stop bothering me until I go to therapy

Therapist says I'm clearly a principled young man and he really thinks I'm on my way

Two psychiatrists said I'm clearly depressed and by no means should I leave

Hooker said "I'm not not a Motel 6 kinda girl and by your look you can't afford me anyway"

I'm pretty sure Jane's an atheist but she said, "For the love of god, stop talking to me"

I wanna wake up when I'm finished sleeping, excuse me mister sorry for interrupting, but won't you leave me alone? Won't you leave me alone.

All my New York friends are too depressed to get out of bed so I hopped a freight train to Chicago
I met a girl who seemed to live in her own world but she had a boyfriend
She told me she had feelings for me and then I kissed her and then she fucked all my friends and never talked to me again
Lilly spent the whole party staring and licking her lips at me
I asked her to the roof she said she was too drunk the next day I asked out and she said sorry
Still I can’t get over the Renoir eyes, storybook mind, and that stupid fucking way that she walks
Chance said just a peck and it was just a peck
I met the 25 year old guy Chance fucked instead of me and I couldn't agree more really
I once had a girl who said that I was her whole world, it took her three weeks to move on to fucking vinny
David Byrne says the best thing to have is a girlfriend with bows in her hair
And David I couldn't agree more but I can't find her anywhere
I got bad timing, an off-putting demeanor, and crippling social anxiety
I say that as if anyone who really got to know me would fucking fall in love with me

But I can't always be waiting on you
you...

My friends are too realistic to do what they want so they got sucked up by school and then Wall Street
Dylan says sometimes talking to me is fucking exhausting
I just met another old lady who said she's praying for me
Oh but can't you tell from this melody that I am just fucking peachy

I don’t have a temper I’m just fucking angry
They wanna teach me manners, we'll listen lady
I'm leaving and I'm not sending any post cards or souvenir cups
I've got to sort out my values, will somebody shut that fucking baby up


Neighbor says "kid why are you breaking all that shit I'm sick of all these fucking stoners"

I saw a girl who danced by herself in the flowers, she looked over at me and I just stood there

Principal said "son I'm proud of you you score the highest, but do you really have to dress like that"

I said "I'm sorry if I scratched your Japanese car but does it really fucking matter man"

The cop said you can't smile for mugshots but they couldn't take the smile off my face

Judge said "we don't have enough evidence but if you don't change soon you're gonna learn the hard way"

All the money in this world, every smile every girl, won't save me from just being a stupid fuck

Sister said "don’t talk to me like that I'm not a character in that fucking book"

JD said "Holden was a mistake now you damn kids get off my lawn"

God kept up her petty silent treatment and everything just kept going on

Basically what I'm saying is I thought it over in my head and all the things you said and now i don't hate you anymore

I used a fake name and I paid in cash but if you can track me down there's room here for one more

Yeah there's always room in this bed for one more

2nd Movement:
Hassett’s Symphony No.1 in G-Sharp Major, "Mr. Happy": II. Adagio, 'Gut-Level'

Daisy really fucked me up last year
I tried to play it as cool as I could
Daisy really fucked me up last year
I tried to play it off as cool as I could
I stopped myself from using the knife
Instead I used a marker
Wrote 'slut' and 'fuck up' all over my arms
Man I gotta learn to keep it together

You look, can I, would you, sorry
You look so, can I just, would you please, sorry, nevermind, please don’t leave

I couldn't possibly be losing it,
I swear I didn’t do it just for the reaction
I couldn't possibly be losing it,
Man I don't even care if I passed the audition
I couldn't possibly be losing it,
They just wanna get a conviction
I couldn't possibly be losing it,
but I'm having trouble with my concentration
I couldn't possibly be losing it,
It seems I get a cold every time I'm about to start singin'
I couldn't possibly be losing it,
I clipped my nails down to perfection

Daisy really fucked me up last year
I tried to play it as cool as I Could
Daisy really fucked me up last year
I tried to play it off as cool as I could
So cool

3rd Movement: Hassett’s Symphony No.1 in G-Sharp Major, "Mr. Happy": III. Minuet, 'Success Style'

I’m fucking falling apart here’s a smile I still got one saved from yesterday
Yes it’s all big joke, so just laugh and go home, please just leave me alone, what’s an audience good for anyway
I fucked up I know, god don’t you think that I know why do you have to keep saying it
You see this type of parenting is no good for me, I’m in no mood for your lecturing, and I never liked your whole success style anyway

Hassett’s Symphony No.1 in G-Sharp Major, "Mr. Happy": IV. Rhondo, 'Mr. Happy'

I am a person
I’m just fine
I’m alright
I can control myself
I can stay cool calm and collected
I don’t need anyone to calm me down.
I don’t need to be calmed down
I don’t need anyone to calm me down

I am a human
I have thoughts feelings and opinions
And they all matter
I am to be respected
I will be loved
Above all I should love and respect myself
I deserve what I have
I deserve to be happy
God doesn’t hate me
Mind over matter
I must seize every opportunity
If I need help I should seek it
I am a person
All opinions matter
I have potential
I will not lie
I will not break promises

I wont let you down sir
I won’t fuck it up
Not like last time
This time will be different
I will apply myself
My heart is in the right place
I am properly motivated and adequately inspired
No need to worry about me anymore
I’m all better
I talked to professionals
I got the right treatment
I followed all the right steps
I’m really on my way
I can buy things on credit because I know ill pay them back
I can start doing favors and not just receiving
I can be a person like other people
I am no longer thinking morbid thoughts
I no longer have a disrespectful attitude
I have stopped watching dark films and reading disturbing novels

I am no longer worried about other people’s problems
I will be happy with what I have
I will love the one I’m with
I will not fall into old cycles
I will not let my personal demons get the best of me
I am a capable and functioning adult
They talked some sense into me
Yes they fixed me up real good
I won’t fuck it up sir
Not like last time
This time will be different
You can trust in me
Yes I understand this is my last chance

I wont fuck it up sir
I wont let you down
I wont let you down sir
I wont fuck it up
Not again
Not again
Not again
I won’t have anymore episodes
I am not alone
I will not be such a child
I will not make excuses for my laziness
I will stay on the ball and keep my head in the game
I won’t let my emotions get the best of me

When I was a kid I had straight blonde hair

Fuck I know I could be anybody
And I’m sorry that I’m me
Track Name: Not Good Enough
I know you wish I thought of you the same way you think of me
I know you know that it's not true when I say you never annoy me

I know you wish I thought of you but I just don't give a shit
I don't know if I'm just depressed or you're just not good enough

She knows I wish she thought of me the same way I think of her
It's hard to escape the idea that I'm just not good enough

Not good enough, I'm not good enough
So I'm yours
I'm your fake fuck,boy you got shit luck
you're beautiful and I can't get it up
Do what you will
I'll stay until
there's something I can get
Something I've never had yet

Bruised knuckles and bloody finger tips never did anyone any good
Bloody up the drywall with five hits
and I'm still not good enough
Track Name: Songs Don't Help
You glide and float through life and you know it
you show it
all the time

I'm not gonna drag this out and wax pathetic
I mean it
you'll be fine

You deserve a chance at true happiness
and I
I deserve a chance to blow it with somebody else

If you're ever, ever alone and I somehow gracelessly stumble across your mind
just look at the moon in the night sky
'cause I'm probably on some rooftop drunk as hell
screaming noise-complaint loud, unintelligible
at the moon, at god, at you, at the cops, at whatever the fuck
having a hard time coming to terms with my luck
'cause you're the type of girl who people kill themselves 'cause they can't have, and I'm the type of guy who stubbornly refuses to die
fuck how i feel, I'm gonna ride this one out

True love waits, yeah right, true love waits for a ghost from a storybook with a price tag on its back, while real life tramples innocence and playfully kicks around its corpse
and the songs don't help

fuck

yes indeed Mrs. Robinson, Jesus loves you more than he loves me
Somewhere, beyond the sea
somewhere, not thinking of me
my lover fucks some other guy
and watches the clouds go rolling by

I am yours, but you're not mine, we are whatever the fuck
and you make it hard
Track Name: Famous Blue Raincoat (Leonard Cohen cover)
It's four in the morning, the month of December
I'm writing you now just to see if you're better
New York is cold, but I like where I'm living
There's music on Clinton Street all through the evening

I hear that you're building your little house deep in the desert
You're living for nothing now, I hope you're keeping some kind of record

Yes, and Jane came by with a lock of your hair
She said that you gave it to her
That night when you planned to get clean
Did you ever get clean?

Ah, the last time I saw you you looked so much older
Your famous blue raincoat was torn at the shoulder
You'd been to the station to meet every train,
And then you came home without little Marlene

And you gave my woman a flake of your life
And when she came home she was nobody's wife

And I see you there with the rose in your teeth
One more thin gypsy thief
Well, I see Jane's awake
She sends her regards

What can I tell you my brother, my killer
What can I possibly say?
I guess that I miss you, I guess I forgive you
I'm glad you stood in my way

If you ever come by here, for Jane or for me
Know your enemy is sleeping, and his woman is free

Yes, and thanks, for the trouble you took from her eyes
I thought it was there for good so I never tried

And Jane came by with a lock of your hair
She said that you gave it to her
That night that your plans became clear
Sincerely, K. Hassett
Track Name: I Dick Around
I seen you dancing in the summertime and I know you are mine
I seen you crying in the winter time and I know you are mine
yeah I know you are mine

Seen you try and pretend with those other men who think they can compete
without another you know you'll never be complete
yeah without me you'll never be complete
yeah you'll never be complete

And I dick around
And I mess around
And I dick around
And I fuck around

Surely some day our time will come
all our past wrongs will be undone
sure as the setting of the sun
sure as the sinking of the sun
sure as the dying of the sun
sure as the burnout of the sun
sure as we'll all be swallowed by the sun

I seen you dancing in the summertime and i know you are mine
I seen you crying after dinnertime and I know you are mine
yeah I know you are mine

Somewhere in some big city you're waiting there for me
yeah you're waiting there for me
yeah you're waiting for me

But I ain't coming no I ain't left yet
I gotta get something off my chest
Despite what you think, what you've been led to believe
you are not the one for me

And I dick around

I'll leave you right where you were
Sure as the burnout of the sun
Track Name: Hole
I ain't much for loving, I love then I go away
and I ain't much for friendship, 'cause I ain't here to stay
If you lie the right way you can get anything you want
something in that red dress sparked my senses on

You been hangin' 'round with Jimmy, yeah, oh yeah, I know
there will cease to be a problem with that big hole in your throat
what a beautiful, beautiful beautiful day
yes it's me dear, there ain't no demons in my veins
Track Name: What's With This Guy Putting Origami Everywhere
I'm on my way to miss you

don't like you as much as you think
don't miss you as much as I drink

but soon you'll be an old habit
and you know me and old habits
so I'm on my way to miss you

got fear in my bones
no love in my home

between their unhappy marriage and repressed-rage bouts
ma and pa taught us all about
the dangers of lies and alcohol
but what they really showed
was the dangers of doing what you're told
all we knew in this world
didn't wanna end up like that
what choice did we have

you're always so suave when you walk out
always so cool
maybe this time I'll get my act together
yeah, huh, which one's the fool?
you always come back 'cause you need it
can't leave behind your tools

and when you come back you say nothing
nothing tra la la
nothing, nothing at all

and I won't take credit and I don't give credit and I don't get credit I don't have credit cards
another symbol of loss
of childhood innocence
charading as growth and progress
all the digits on the grid say you're a success
but in a dark room with your tears just picking up dust
numbers don't mean much

natives run from the Gatling gun screaming we're all one
delirium tremors gonna wake up the neighbors it's only have past 1
Track Name: Distilled Spirit
I'd like to have a distilled spirit
But for now a drink will do

I got nothing to lose
Except all my reasons to lie to you

Wish I could just drive and blast music and think about nothing
But these singers won’t stop singin about their problems
And the tress on the side of the road offer no solution
They just say nothing
And these singers wont stop talking about all my problems

Life is bleak and life is long
and I am dumb and I am wrong
and if you wanna make your own decisions you gotta do it alone

mud hardens into dirt,
dirt melts into mud, with some water,
I fall asleep, again, without her

Wish I could go back to ma and pa
Milk and cookies with a southern drawl
But the innocent times, they weren’t so innocent
I used to throw rocks and blame in on my sisters

What’s the point when you can’t have the only thing you want
What’s the point when you fuck up the only thing you want
What the fuck is the point when you can’t have the only thing you want
What the fuck is the point when you fuck up the only thing you want
What the fuck is the point what the fuck is the point

She is good and she is wise and I am mean and full of lies
And it’s good
She walked away when she could
She is good and she is wise and I am mean and full of lies
And it’s good
She left when she could

I didn’t cheat exactly
Track Name: Primal Joy of a Child
I'm not gonna write a strongly worded letter
I'm not gonna file any paperwork
I'm just gonna build my house by hand
I'll build it out on some federal land
Maybe I'll go to Chicago
That's the kind of town that I'd like to know
Move in a house with a few of my friends
and stay clear of any speed traps

yeah I will ah ha ha
woo ha ha ha
yeah baby
yeah ha ha ha
woo hoo hoo
alright baby

I must've misplaced my rose-colored glasses
I quit my job, I'm dropping all my classes
I'm licensed and registered, but I can't afford the gas
I probably coulda been a lawyer or something
I probably coulda had a really nice yard
I coulda run for congress
I run faster than my car

I really do
yeah ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
woo ahhahoohoo
ha ha babadadat
yeah ha ha ha

I let it all go
called the ground my home
I'll find god
I'll give her a kiss for you
Track Name: Jesus Take The Wheelchair
An old man decided he'd finally came to his sense
after years of sitting around, alone and defenseless
He knew what he'd become
He had become what he never wanted to
He would become just a bunch of molecules
His life had come undone
He said, "Jesus, take the wheelchair, I don't need it anymore."

Life is meaningless anyway,
we'll just decay, degrade, and fade away
So waste your time and take a photograph
if you like, you'll never get another chance

What if the world ended on a Tuesday? Where would you be?
Sitting in traffic, or in a cubicle, would you be happy?

Jesus is coming and so is an asteroid so drive your golf cart into a bush
Jesus is coming and so is an asteroid so drive your golf cart into a bush

Always
and forever
Oh what a load of shit, that means nothing, you proved it time and time again
I know
that you're waiting
waiting for someone to run to after you and me are through
ah, the sun shines down on your remorse
ah, as if you ever had a choice
now join the crowd and make some noise
Track Name: Scheming
She
is scheming something up
I believe I am in luck
I fit into her plans quite nicely tonight, and tomorrow we'll play
a little game
of whoever cares less wins
I always win
No
I'm not
alright
but I've been working on fixing myself
with respect I think you can help
but it's really up to you
do what you like
you've got eyes like a cello in a Nirvana song
oh hello sorry it's been quite long
since anyone's looked at me like that
no I'm not sure anyone has ever quite looked at me like that
but yes I guess this is just how I am
I must have just gotten lucky with those first couple of jokes
I suppose
no hard feelings
you can leave my like you found me
ugly, broken, and cold
no feelings aren't hard at all
I think I got 'em figured out
so just keep floating and I'll just sink here into the ground
She's
scheming something up
I believe I am in luck
some things
just aren't worth fixing
Track Name: You Can't Imagine
She's smiling I think she likes my style
The prettiest girl I ever seen in my whole life
She likes grunge and the word 'perfunctory'
This has gotta be the one this time it's gotta be the one for me
Can't find the right time to kiss her so I don't
I punch the steering wheel five times and then drive home

Hey kid you've gotten tall
Would you like some vegetables
It's funny cause he doesn't like vegetables
I don't need your suggestion just stand right there and hold this
If you're gonna be an asshole about it you're gonna make my boyfriend do it
Do you really wanna make my boyfriend do it
Turn off that music I can't have that right now

You can't imagine how I hate this
Here's your fucking chorus I'm so sorry about all the cursing

Hey you can't do that, I can't just give everyone a warning I gotta give you a ticket sorry
Oh that was today I can't make it to the show but you should still go without me
Why should we hire you
What words to describe yourself would you use

Hey yeah Mrs. Margarine, you're not quite as smooth as butter but I'll take anything that's coming to me
You can do anything you wanna do cause it doesn't do anything for me
What do you want I'll do anything and I'll do it for free
You can do anything you wanna do cause it doesn't do anything for me
You don't wanna get stuck with me I need another and another and another and it's never enough
You can do anything you wanna do cause it doesn't do anything for me
If you think you're gonna save me you've read too many books

'cause we're desperate and we're vulnerable
One day we might even be emotionally available
Yeah if we got our shit together we might be able to really have a future
Yeah maybe not
No maybe not
but ain't it pretty to think so
Isn't it pretty to think so

I never know where my arms should go
You can always tell when someone doesn't know
Where their arms should go
And I never know
I'm all over the place, flailing and desperate to hit home
Shit I let the cat out and it's gonna kill that bunny
I just know it, the only pure thing left on this street
I shouldn't be able to sleep tonight but all I ever care about is me
It's not your fault it's really not
This always happens the first night
Stop crying, yes I do like you
It'll be better the next time

What's the point of all this shit
To work to get a house like the one I had as a kid
Except now when something breaks it's me, I'm the one who's gotta fix it
Nothing it's nothing just go back inside
I really don't wanna burden your night
The lady says "have a nice flight"
Doesn't look up, doesn't look me in the eye

I told them I was gonna do it but I didn't
They won't stop repeating they won't stop repeating
I told them I was gonna try but I didn't
They won't stop repeating they won't stop repeating
I told them I was gonna do it but I didn't
'Cause
I'm a douchebag and an asshole
I'm a pussy and I can't cope
a loser, a fuck up, and a lost hope
But I've got talent and a sore throat
And you can't imagine how I hate this
You can't
You can't
You can
Track Name: In A Dream
We will be together in a dream
you'll see
Just you and me, yes the real me, real as I'll ever be
who else could it be
and we won't have to do those things they make us do there'll be no need
we'll be free

they told me from the start that life's not fair
And I told you that I don't care
early on I reached my conclusion
I was sure just not sure when
and when it was when, and yes, it was when
you could rest assured you did what you could and I just wouldn't listen

I couldn't speak but I sang and I screamed
they just kept talking over me
until one day they said good job
but then they moved on
and they never looked back
until I made them with my final act
but it didn't change a god damn thing
they said what they always say about these kinds of things
a tragedy
so sorry
if there's anything you need
thoughts and prayers to the family

no one knows why we dream
and no one knows why we sing
and no one knows why you're here
and no one knows why I'm not
and no one knows why we dream
and no one knows why we sing
and no one knows why you're here
and no one knows why you're not
and no one knows why they dream
and no one knows why they sing
and no one knows why they're here
and no one knows why we're not
and we will be together in a dream
Track Name: I, etc.
I lie awake
nothing will be changed but what I say
doesn't matter anyway
I'll just be bones in a box in the dirt

you wanna fly away but you don't got wings
so you just try to keep on living like a human being
but you're not sure exactly what that means
so you just